Right Thinking Wrong Thinking: Parenting


I am beginning a new series called Right Thinking Wrong Thinking. Every Thursday I will post this series and I will address some right and wrong ways of thinking and how they affect our hearts and our actions. Here we go:

Your heart is pumping and you feel like jumping out of your skin.

“Take deep breaths,” you whisper under your breath as your shoulders tighten and your face contorts.

They have done it again. Your kids are not listening and you are about ready to explode.

What is it that sets you off? How is it possible that these creatures that bring so much joy also cause you so much frustration? My answer: Stinking thinking. Yes our thinking gets us into trouble over and over again. So here are two kinds of thinking I have noticed in my life about my kids, both wrong and right thinking.

Wrong Thinking:  My kids will be perfectly obedient and have wonderful attitudes all the time. They know how to behave in every circumstance.

Heart: This thinking brings anger and frustration when kids disobey. This mindset causes you to fail to praise the positive because that is all you expect.

Actions: This mindset causes you to yell, discipline in anger, and remain frustrated as a parent. You discipline the behavior, but don’t talk about the heart issues behind the behavior.

Right Thinking: My children are works in progress.train them to obey, manage their attitudes and make wise choices. The goal in my parenting is that my children will learn to honor God and honor others. Since I must train my children I have to state expectations and consequences even when they seem to be “obvious.”

Heart: This mindset allows for sadness rather than anger and understanding rather than frustration. Since your mind is set on training your children it is easy to praise good behavior and honoring attitudes.

Actions: Discipline starts before anyone has done anything wrong by stating expectations and giving clear consequences. When discipline is required, it is delivered in sadness rather than anger. The goal of discipline is to train the child rather than stop the unwanted behavior. When the child is trained he or she is able to make the right choice and thus choose not to behave in the unwanted manner.

Do you have some other stinking thinking you have noticed about your kids, your parents, your friends? What is the right way to think and how might that change your behavior?

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