Peace and Real Humility

“I suck.” The words slipped out and I hate those words…Great now I’m using words I told my kids never to use…I cannot get today right.

As stepped on my lawn and instantly felt the dampness from the grass.

And who wears flip-flops in fifty degree weather? my mind chastised.

I made it to my dark porch, unlocked the door, and let my friend inside.

I forgot. AGAIN. And I couldn’t stay…My family was eating dinner at a restaurant not far from my house.

Already that day I lost papers my husband signed for a friend and had to get new ones to her later that evening…Wasting everyone’s time involved.

I also couldn’t get it together to get lunch for my kids on the table or even get to the grocery store…no milk…

Then the bill that I can’t get paid because their computer is down and I am already late…My fault…

***And as I wrote this post I realized I missed an appointment for my daughter too…SIGH! ***

Why is it easier for me to forgive others than it is for me to forgive myself?

And I know I am human. I make mistakes. BUT I don’t like it when I mess up. AT. ALL. And it is a kind of pride. This desire to do it all right and perfect and to keep others from knowing how I mess up…OFTEN.

But humility isn’t beating myself up over mistakes I make. Nor is it wallowing in self-pity that I can’t do anything. No God doesn’t want false humility.

He wants the kind that crawls through the dust to touch His hem. He wants the kind that admits a desperate dependence on Him. Humility that admits apart from His grace nothing is good for all deeds are filthy rags…Humility that lays down its burdens at His feet and pick up only the yoke He gives us.

In humility there is rest. In humility there is peace. In humility there is God.