Too Much and Not Enough

My eyes glazed over a bit. The incessant noise sent tension through my shoulders and into my neck and brain.

Could my brain short-circuit with this much information flowing to it so incessantly?

Their smiling faces and high-pitched laughter strummed my raw nerves. I took a deep breath attempting to slow the electricity flowing through my nerves.

My list of things to-do and not done grew as I piled on responsibility after responsibility.

I can’t do this. I can’t homeschool and write and be a student and teach Sunday School and be a wife…It is too much.

I resigned my plans and hopes and dreams to failure. I CAN’T. Those to simple words felt like a death sentence.

But there was something else God wanted me to do…Something more and I began to wonder if God could see my house.

I am not orderly…My kids know it, I know it, my husband knows it…my dog even catches glimpses of it as I avoid bathing her for more weeks than I care to mention.

My laundry room is a war zone of dirty clothes piled in one place and clean in another. I often pray the piles don’t touch and I have to figure out whether the clothes in the middle are dirty or not.

And my kitchen is…lived in…And I want to do better and I do for a time…

So I asked God why? Why more when I already have too much?

And this is what He keeps bringing to mind:

Jesus is talking, ‘”Come to me, all of you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to carry and my burden is light.”’ Matthew 11:28-30

You see I am carrying burdens in my way instead of carrying His yoke…The yoke distributes the weight of the burdens differently and His yoke is easy…

“And let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

And I do grow weary at times, but God reminds me not to give up on orderliness, or my dreams, or even raising children who are responsible citizens.

“Have you not known,
or have you not heard?
Yahweh is the God of eternity,
the creator of the ends of the earth!
He is not faint, and he does not grow weary!
There is no searching his understanding.”  Isaiah 40:28

See I have too much of me and not enough of God. There it is. He is the creator, He never wearies, and  I can never reach the end of His understanding.

And so I fearfully, but trusting God step out in faith to do the things He wants me to do, for His glory and I let go of myself.

What helps you when you feel like you have too much to do?