Bending and Breaking

“…a stiff-necked people.”

Over and over again as God deals with His chosen people – the Israelites – that is what He calls them.

And as God chastises the Israelites those words echo in my heart and mind.

I.AM.STIFF-NECKED.

I am stubborn, rebellious, and just plain ignorant.

Still God calls me His precious child, righteous, redeemed – all because of the blood of Jesus.

And so I live in the tension of being called what I am not and letting the Spirit birth in me fruit that makes me look and act more like what He calls me.

And my soul bucks and fights against what God is trying to do. Still the Potter loves me and patiently works out the impurities in my soul.

As the clay I can be moldable or I can harden in rebellion.

Will I harden when my dreams are not fulfilled?

Or will I soften and allow God to drive impure motives, pride, and idols from my heart?

Will I resist God’s gentile request for repentance?

Or will I open my fists and lay my life on the altar so I can be a living sacrifice? (Romans 12:1)

It takes dying to self to truly live (John 12:24).

But I don’t like the bending and breaking. It hurts. It means I have to fully trust God’s direction, His plans.

It means even if God never _____________ (fill in your deepest desire) that I will still love Him, worship Him, and follow Him.

And watching my dreams and desires burn on the altar means parts of myself are burning.

When I surrender to the fire on the altar my stiff neck becomes malleable. I may even break, but I know God will not keep me there. Instead He breaks me to make me whole.

And so I pray God makes me and molds me into a bendable, broken, but made whole woman who brings Him glory.

How do you handle the bending and breaking process?