Not Despairing…

You grow weary by the greatness of your way,
but you did not say, ‘Despairing!’
You found the renewal of your strength,
therefore you do not grow weak.  Isaiah 57:10

The greatness of my way…The enormity of not only raising three kids, but teaching them…Hoping to instill a love for God and family and learning. While I stumble over prickly attitudes of both my kids and myself.

And school for myself. Seminary work is fabulously difficult. And I sometimes have a really bad attitude about it. Other times I really enjoy it and I want to enjoy it…But the rebellious part of me wants to arch my back and fuss (much like my kids want to fuss at me when things are difficult).

Then the dream God gave me…One that He hasn’t released me from, but is taking a backseat to other things…Writing and speaking and I love it all and I miss doing more of it…Still I know I am investing my time rightly.

I almost want to whisper this burden because it seems so ridiculous. Crazy, but it is true. I still want more children and I love seeing rounded bellies full of life and I long for mine to bulge again.

And the way God is guiding me is a great way. A way I cannot walk without Him…A way that sometimes draws me near to despair…Yet I can find THE RENEWAL of my strength. It is found in an amazing God who loves me with amazing grace…And when I slow down enough to focus on Him, He strengthens me.

And there is joy in knowing I cannot walk this path on my own. There is peace in knowing God is guiding me along this way. And there is strength…Because God has give me a spirit of power…

So I will not despair.

What do you do to keep your eyes on God and not despair about the greatness of your path?