Rethinking Infertility

How Do You Love a God Who is Able, But May Not?

It is a wonderful thing to know that God is omnipotent. It means that every seemingly impossible circumstance is not hopeless. Miracles can happen. Things can change. But God’s ways are mysterious. He isn’t simply a divine vending machine. “I go to church every Sunday, I tithe, and I even went on that mission trip…
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Losing Focus and Finding it Again

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising…
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Fatigue and Blessings

I turned over and hit snooze on my alarm. I couldn’t keep my eyes open and nine minutes later the alarm woke me up again. So tired. And it rolls like ocean waves under the surface. I ride the waves in my dreams. I hold tight to God as I wake and I am tired.…
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How to Love God who is Able, But Does Not. . .

They said it as they stood near a furnace hot enough to kill men who came near. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego told king Nebuchadnezzar, “. . .our God, whom we serve, is able to rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire. And from your hand, O king, let him rescue us. And if not,…
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When the Pain Binds You Together

My scars and old wounds, I revealed them this weekend. Tore the bandage off the hidden ugliness behind the pain and wounds. In front of women I never met, but I knew a part of their struggle.   I stood in a room full of women dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss and I spoke…
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Praying in the Wait

Hi friends. Today I have a post featured on The M.O.M. Initiative titled Let Dad be Dad. If you are a mom, check it out. Today I want to pray for you all as you wait. God often brings us into waiting times. Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like…
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How to Be Happy for Your Friend

Hello blog friends. Today I have the privilege of being featured at Encouragement Cafe. Check out my post The Word, Actions, and Words. Also check out The M.O.M. Initiative today to see about entering their big giveaway! Some days I wonder when my sinful self will get out of my way. I hear wonderful news…
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It Nags

There it is again. A tug at my heart. My shoulders tense and my head aches. I sigh, but the heaviness remains. I look at the clock, 5:30 AM. Determined I get out of bed, the heaviness accompanies me throughout my day. Dirty dishes, piles of laundry, scattered toys, and longings for more children tell…
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Staking My Life On Joy

Happy Birthday to me and my twin sister! Last year I posted some pictures of us when we were cute…You can see them here.   Anyway, last night I spoke to the fifth and sixth graders at my church about joy. Sometimes God just takes hold of me as I speak and shakes me hard.…
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Perspective

I need a little dose perspective. Many days my rebellious and harried heart whispers lies. My heart whispers, “This will never change.” God says, “With Me all things are possible.” “It is useless,” my heart taunts. “No situation is wasted. My perfect plan will prevail.” “I can’t do anything right,” I shake my head. “You…
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Attitude

I have an attitude problem. I am cranky, easily irritated, and downright frustrated. UGH! I think if only my kids would behave, if my husband would meet my every need (even when I don’t know what it is I need), if health wellness and prosperity marked my whole extended family, if my dreams and longings…
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When Celebrating Birth Hurts

Christmas 2005. My heart squeezed tight and broke open. All my plans laid bare and I slowly leaked out of me. To celebrate a birth when I just lost a precious babe, my fallopian tube shredded laid me low. My hopes, plans, dreams spilled out. Mary, belly swollen heavy waiting for a savior, mocked my…
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Infertility: How Do You Do It?

I remember the day my hope of naturally conceiving a child was over. Searing pain radiated from my left lower abdomen through my back up to my shoulder-blade. My fallopian tube ripped open causing my baby to miscarry and me to bleed internally. I knew because I felt the same pain on my right side…
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It Still Hurts – Be Real – Just Smile

I stumbled upon Lesli’s website as I was researching for the book I am writing and attempting to get published. She has a firm faith and great message that applies to more than just my infertile friends. I pray her words encourage and bless you. Here is Lesli:   As you can tell by the…
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Finding Joy in God’s Plan

I claw and scream inwardly as I cling to unraveling plans–my plans for a good life, great kids, a perfect marriage. But lives don’t follow carefully laid plans and great kids have minds of their own. Perfect marriages don’t exist–there are no perfect wives or husbands. Still I tie myself in knots when my plans…
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Beauty in Barren Land

A flash of color catches my attention as I pull out of my driveway. There among some dead and dying bushes was one bright red flower. I never planted flowers there. In fact we have spent three falls in this house and have never seen anything like it before. In defiance of the very dry…
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Right Thinking Wrong Thinking: Why

My mind reels and churns as my heart thumps wildly. My neck and shoulder muscles tighten and my brain hurts. Every where I look seems a black pit swallowing me whole. Why? Why me, why now, what did I do? What must I learn? How can I get out? If I can only figure out…
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How Infertility Feels

Reproduction is a bodily function. We take it for granted that our bodies will work correctly. That eggs are released and tubes are open. That sperm come in enough number that at some point in the tube the sperm and egg meet. Then the embryo moves from the tube to the uterus where it implants…
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When Coupons Hurt

My heart broke again, right there beside the mailbox. It squeezed tight within me battling the emotions, longing, grief that I hoped I was freed from. I held the Target coupons in my hand and it felt like a cruel joke. Coupons for everything you need for your baby. My baby is three. My oldest…
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For Your Battle…

I am praying for you. The you who is reading this blog post. You who are fighting the battles of this life… You who have lost a job, a loved one, your health. You who are dealing with uncertainty, becoming a care-giver, suffering loss. You who are battling the enemy of our souls as He…
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