Dependance

It starts innocently. I want to honor God with the gifts He has given me.

So I step out and speak and blog and write.

Soon others are blessed by what I do. I hear:

“God has gifted you.”

“I love your blog.”

“You are a great teacher.”

Those words encourage and build me up. I am even more excited to use the gifts God has given me.

BUT

There is a small dark place in my heart that begins to collect accolades. Soon my heart whispers, “You are a better writer than her” or “You can do this (insinuating I don’t need God).”

Before I even realize what is happening I start comparing my relationship with God to others. I become judge and jury of who should or should not be speaking for Christ.

This ugly part of myself acts as if I had something to do with my gifts when they really come from God. My focus becomes me, not God and His message.

So what do I do? I tell myself truth…Phillipians 2:3-8

“³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”

How can I harbor selfish ambition or vain conceit, when Jesus took the very nature of a man. He limited Himself to a physical body – one that gets tired, sick, hungry. He gave up omnipresence and entered into time. I cannot get over it.

Oh, God please help me to get over myself. Forgive me for my selfish ambition and vain conceit. Instead fill me with true humility and Godly ambition. May the chief aim of my life be to glorify You. As I step out to share the things You have taught me, keep me dependent on You. Fill me with Your Spirit, apart from You I can do nothing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

How do you keep your dependence on Christ?