Rethinking Challenges, Rethinking Infertility, Rethinking Life
Perspective
I need a little dose perspective. Many days my rebellious and harried heart whispers lies. My heart whispers, “This will never change.” God says, “With Me all things are possible.” “It is useless,” my heart taunts. “No situation is wasted. My perfect plan will prevail.” “I can’t do anything right,” I shake my head. “You…
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Worlds Apart…
While I was in high school, I learned about a great Christian band called Jars of Clay. They have a song called Worlds Apart and one line has been reverberating in my heart this weekend… It says, “…what I need and what I believe are worlds apart.” Aren’t we blessed that God knows what we…
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When I Mess Up…AGAIN…
I thought I had today together. I had thought about it and planned it in my head and then it happened. I realized I double booked myself. I was getting my bag ready for church and looked at my appointment card. “Monday?!?” I shook my head. “I thought my appointment was on Tuesday.” Monday morning…
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Arriving
“I can’t wait until…” “When I am older I…” “When I am married I can finally…” “When I have kids I will feel…” “When I make it big I will…” For as long as I can remember I have wanted to arrive somewhere. That cliche, “I have finally arrived,” spoke to my heart. As a…
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2011 Growth…2012
I prayed over a word last year. A word God would give me for the year. 2010 was a year of stretching and I felt God prodding me that 2011 would be a year of growing into those stretched out places. Growing is painful and amazing. Painful because it means letting go of what is…
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I Wish I was a….
My brother was born before sonograms could determine the gender of unborn babies. My parents chose to decorate his room with green and yellow. Ironically so was the outside of our house (yellow with green trim) and the colors of our middle school (green and gold)…I digress. Wallpaper was also popular back in that time,…
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Enough
Lately I have struggled with enough. I feel like I don’t do enough. I should do more with the gifts and talents God has given me. I wonder am I a wise steward of time, finances, gifts, talents? I want to do something big–something God-sized. I wonder if I am really doing what God wants…
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Comparison
My family and I spent the weekend decorating our house and our yard for Christmas. It was a full weekend job. As we decorated the kids and I talked about Mary, Joseph and Jesus. Then it happened. I thought, I wish I was like Mary. She just believed what the angel told her. I bet…
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Eleven Years Ago
Eleven years ago today I had my hair done in an updo and I put on a white dress.I walked down an aisle arm-in-arm with my dad. Broad smile plastered to my face and a smaller one painted on his. He had to give me away. Eleven years ago. I stood at the front of…
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Yes His Name is George
Monday. I prepared for it with trepidation. L was only five days post tonsillectomy. She did so well, but I felt concerned about sending her to school. I made sure I had her medicine ready to go, lunches prepared, and backpacks packed. We were ready. I checked through all their papers Sunday night. I signed…
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When Words Are Not Enough: How to Support Those Walking Dark Roads
It doesn’t make sense. At least not this side of heaven. Cancer stealing years from folks who live and love well while rapists continue their lust for power and flesh. Infertility leaving wombs and arms empty while others abandon and abuse their children. Addiction powerfully pulling its prey away from work, family, friends. A momentary…
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How to Endure Under the Pressure of the Mundane
For far too long I have allowed my inner editor to silence my writing. “I have nothing to say,” I would tell myself. Besides if you can’t keep your house clean, what right do you have to write words? My inner diatribe would chide. So I’ve been silenced under the pressure of the mundane… …under the…
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Snow and the Creator’s Call
I am a Kansas girl living in the south. The south where 60 degrees is “cold” and a flake of snow send everyone running for milk and bread. So when the weather forecast called for ice and snow I did not pay much attention. There are always “snow storms on the way” that rarely make…
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Plan B
His birthday party was scheduled for May 4th. And I prayed for good weather because I wasn’t sure I wanted ten five and six-year-old boys in my house for an hour and a half. As May 4th approached the weather forecast kept getting worse. At one point there was talk of snow early in the…
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And It’s Monday…Again…
Have you ever known you need to do something, but struggle doing it? You know you need to work-out regularly, but somehow the day gets away from you and then three weeks have gone by and you haven’t broken a sweat? You know you need to wake early in the morning because you are more…
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Faithful…Not Necessarily Fruitful
My heart sinks as I see the e-mail. Feed-burner sent me a message another person unsubscribed to my blog. My self-talk pours acid on the ache of rejection. Nobody reads your blog. Your writing doesn’t matter. You will never be a published author. You are not good enough, smart enough, together enough. Who would want…
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Insanity
My dogs crack me up…They are insane…Don’t believe me? Check out their insanity… [tube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js9FHFsaX1M[/tube] Lucy {the one that gets on top of the play set} sits self-assured and pleased with herself. Maggie takes a few steps up the play set, but gets nervous and heads back down. Then from the ground she whines and fusses…
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My Time or Is It?
My mind swirled. I created busy-ness in my head. List upon list and wondered how it could all be done. The swirling tugged my heart down as if I was being sucked down into the pit. My neck and shoulders stiffened. “No!” I want to yell. “I can’t. I won’t. No more to-do lists. I…
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The ‘Tude is Killing Me
My head aches and my heart lurches. “Ugh!” I think. “I don’t want to be here. I have so many things I need to do.” I look down at my watch. “I just want to protect my time. How long is this going to take?” My shoulders tense. “Relax would you?” I chide myself. My…
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Frustration…
There are some days I just want to gnash my teeth. My shoulders tense, my heart clenches, and every thing I see seems to scream out, “You are a failure Angela.” I guess I am not the only one. If I am the only one you can skip this post. It won’t do you a…
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